Man gets life in prison for jaywalking; Deemed no future as plays Mobile Legends


27 SEPTEMBER 2019 SINGAPORE: A man today was charged in court for jaywalking and sentenced to life imprisonment after the judge rejected the defendant’s call for a non-custodial sentence.

Kah, 23, was sentenced to life imprisonment after pleading guilty to one charge of jaywalking on Hougang Street 93. Two similar charges were taken into consideration.

Citing her reasons, District Judge Seh Tai Er described Keow Kah’s offences as “minor trespasses” several times, but deemed that “since the accused has no hope in life, might as well just do life lor.”

She also noted that the court report had found Kah suitable for life imprisonment as his lifestyle choices show he has “never really rank up, quite burden.”

“As a Warrior II level player, he really has no hope in life despite his insistent commitment to always play Mobile Legends.”

In a separate case, a molester was given probation this year in lieu of a jail sentence as the judge found the offences to be “minor intrusions” and found the accused has the “potential to excel in life”.

Kah did not respond to our questions on his sentencing as he was busy playing Mobile Legends.



Singapore Boomer: CPF Contributions too high, payouts too low.

SINGAPORE 14 JULY 2019: A Singaporean man in his 60s has taken to social media to lament about his issues with retirement. “My CPF balance only has so little. My calculated monthly payout is only $80. How can anyone survive on $80 a month?” Asked Singaporean man Meal Tin.

“We need to VOTE THEM OUT! $80 a month is INSULTING! Return our CPF.”

Tin also pointed out that CPF contribution rates are way too high.

“20%? I already earn so little, and now the government wants to take away 20% of my income? #VoteThemOut.”

Tin added that Singapore is also not caring enough for its citizens.

“Why does transport cost money? Restaurant food is like $50 a meal. How to survive? In other country everything is FREE.”

“And why do I need to pay S&CC fee? Government tax not enough? Must be minister millionaire salary. #VoteThemOut.”


4 Ways to Make your Grab/Gojek Driver Enjoy his Trip

Use these tips to make your rideshare driver enjoy fetching you. Photo by frank mckenna on Unsplash

SINGAPORE 13 JULY: Are you a frequent rideshare user? Always wondered how to make drivers day a little better (apart from tipping)? Well wonder no more, with this article we share with you 4 best ways to make the trip you’re being driven enjoyable for the driver as well!

1. Check their glove compartments.

Drivers will sometimes forget important bits of information that they’ve kept in their glove compartments. For example, an insurance payment letter that they’ve quickly put away as the light turns green at a traffic light. Open their glove compartment and fish around for whatever might be inside. If you find something you like, keep it! Rideshare fares aren’t cheap anyway, and this goes a little way to help cover the cost for you.

2. Turn that radio dial.

Crank that up to 11! Photo by Oliur on Unsplash

Go ahead and turn their radio dial to a station you like. Nobody likes to listen to the same playlist all day, especially drivers as they’ve been listening to the same radio station cycle DJs and top hits every half an hour for essentially the same aural garbage. Justin Bieber for the 4th time this hour? No thanks! So go ahead, put on music you like at the volume you’d love because why not? Sharing is caring, and you’ve got caring enough for the whole neighbourhood.

3. Fix the aircon temperature.

Too hot or too cold? Have it your way. Photo by Luigi Manga on Unsplash

When the driver has to be fixated on all the tiny details of driving, they’d be more than happy for you to set the aircon to your liking. As they navigate through the alleys of CBD and meander their course through the highway jam, they’ll need someone to fix the aircon that’s just not at the right skin-feel temperature. Following this tip, they may even give you a 5-star rider review!

4. Take a picture of them when they use their phone.

Finger that phone! Photo by NordWood Themes on Unsplash.

In most cases, rideshare drivers are too busy looking for more fares and driving to figuratively stop and smell the flowers along the way. Help them to create a memorable collage of their journey in life by taking a picture of them whenever they look down at their phones and meddle with it while driving. This way, you create dozens of happy memories for the drivers while they can concentrate on multitasking while driving.

There you have it! 4 amazing ways to liven up the day of your rideshare driver. Do you have any personal tips? Let us know in the comments!

GOJEK launches GOJEK OFF in response to recent GrabThefts

GOJEK OFF service launched in response to recent GrabThefts. Image: AsiaOne

SINGAPORE 3 JULY 2019: Not to be outdone by recent GrabThefts (GrabShoes and GrabTowel), Grab rival GOJEK has launched a new service called GOJEK OFF.

GOJEK OFF matches you to the nearest partner-contractor available for an instant JEKOFF-customer match-up. “Our JEKOFFs will be as quick as possible. Depending on the JEKOFF being matched, sometimes even 30 seconds come already,” says GOJEK representative Park Choo Cheng.

“Once paired, the nearest JEKOFF will come to wherever you are and take one of your belongings, and relieve it from your possession,” says Cheng.

Cheng adds that there is already a sizable fleet of JEKOFFs in Singapore.

“Sometimes these JEKOFFs just take something that don’t belong to them, very proactive one. We cannot control these JEKOFFs [as they are independent contractors], so some of these JEKOFFs are also working for Grab. While I cannot disclose the exact numbers, I can tell you the recent theft cases you might be thinking of are definitely done by JEKOFFs.”


Anti-Chope Movement: Replace HDB Balloting with Battle Royale.

Battle royale system for HDB Flats.

SINGAPORE 10 June 2019: The Anti-Chope Movement sets its sights on the HDB balloting system, citing it as a ‘pet-peeve’, and demands that it be replaced by a winner-takes-all battle royale system instead.

“It’s 2019. Flats at HDBs, BTOs, and SBOs are meant to be PUBLIC HOUSING, PUBLIC [repeated for emphasis], it is a first-come-first-get-a-house (physically-claimed) basis, said the Anti-Chope Movement. That is why you pay an economical price living in places like that as opposed to living in a condominium.

“To ‘reserve a unit in a HDB balloting system’ is not a life hack,” said the Anti-Chope Movement. “In my opinion, it is an ungracious act carried out by individuals who are conforming to what everyone else is doing and taking to this advantage ‘Singaporean-tradition’ of reserving a seat for selfish reasons.” 

“Instead of a token to represent your claim, we should fight to the death to claim the HDB unit. Remember, it’s public, so it’s free-for-all, it is a first-come-first-serve type thing,” said the Anti-Chope Movement.

Photo of HDB ballot queue number. Photo: Joanne Khoo

The Anti-Chope Movement has previously campaigned against reserving hawker centre seats with ‘chope’ items because it is a ‘pet-peeve.’

The Anti-Chope Movement did not elaborate on why reserving a table with a token item to show that someone else has arrived at the seat first and thus has reserved the seat is more ‘selfish’ than leaving a seat-warmer peer like a hawker centre scarecrow instead.

To argue its case, the Anti-Chope Movement posted this scenario on its Facebook page: “It’s lunchtime, it’s the peak lunch hour at the food court, hordes of hungry humans and you’re carrying your tray of hot food… you see an empty seat you make your way there only to find it being ‘choped’… by tissue packs, lanyards, namecards, keys, water bottle, umbrella, newspaper… You thought it was a public and shared space!”

The Anti-Chope Movement again did not elaborate on why, if chope-ing is the social norm and debatably an icon of Singaporean culture already, did the person in the scenario not just chope a seat before going off to buy food and instead passive-aggressively bitch about chopers online behind the guise of a Facebook page.

One wonders how the people behind the Anti-Chope Movement can reach so far down to their desk keyboards to type their snark on Facebook considering that they have put themselves on a horse higher than the 40-storey HDB blocks in Toa Payoh.

Singapore Government Considers Banning Monotheistic Religions That Offend Others.

Image credit: Pexels

SINGAPORE – 8 Mar 2019. Singapore government considers banning monotheistic religions that impose on other religious beliefs. Certain monotheistic religions contain beliefs that there is only one true religion. This goes against any of the other thousands of religions that exist that claim to be the true religion.

Allowing monotheistic religious ceremonies to be held in Singapore would be against “public order interest and affect our religious and social harmony” cautioned the Ministry of Home Affairs (MHA).

Over the last few days, there have been lots of concerns expressed, and if you look at certain monotheistic religions, they do have a history – very offensive towards those outside their own religions, and supportive of violence, including encouraging the undertaking of crusades and religious genocides.



YouTube Rewind 2018 was just an Experiment: YOUTUBE.

YouTube release explanation behind worst YouTube Rewind ever. Source: YouTube

SINGAPORE, 11 December 2018: YouTube has finally broken the silence on YouTube Rewind 2018.

Launched on 6 December, YouTube Rewind 2018 has soared to the 2nd spot on the most-disliked videos of all time, and is on track to take over the top spot, currently held by Justin Bieber’s Baby music video.

YouTube admitted that he had concocted a whole rile-the-fans scheme as a “social experiment”. YouTube decided to irritate the fans of YouTube content creators, as he wanted to see “how far they [YouTube content creators’ fans] would go” for their idols.

While some content creators’ fans replied that they wouldn’t have done such a thing(7.9M dislikes), others were celebrating the fact that YouTube video was such harshly disliked.

When asked why YouTube would call it “Everyone Controls Rewind” without actually listening to much of its fan base, YouTube explained that he’s not here to teach us how to live our lives, but rather, wanted the experiment to serve as a “thinking point” and “conversation starter”.