Singapore activists rush to defend new pieces of shit

Activist running to defend a newly-found piece of shit: Unsplash

17 DEC 2020 SINGAPORE: Activists across Singapore had their activist-senses on fire today as they rushed to defend newly-uncovered pieces of shit.

Two pieces of defecation today were charged in court for the murder of a woman in a 13-year-long open case.

After learning of the heinous crimes committed by the literal pieces of shit, activists raced to jump in front of desperate media microphones to defend the pieces of shit. “This is state oppression, and this Stasi government will silence us all if they could!” Daniel Loo-Hsien-Earl told to media outlets that were happy to carry his statements unchecked.

“Today, these innocent pieces of shit, tomorrow you!” D. Loo-Hsien-Earl continued. “Let them go now!”

Lawyer and opposition politican Gan Troup said “I have declared this investigation of the pieces of shit to be politically motivated, therefore this is state oppression carried out by crony crooked cops! Set them free at once I say!” Gan was speaking to media outlets through Changi Prison visitation chambers as he chose to not cooperate with Police investigating two separate matters he was accused of. “This Nazi government will do away with us all one by one with no due process! Is this the government you want to vote for?!”

Gan is awaiting trial on his own charges, as well representing a different activist in a trial against the sitting Prime Minister.

“All they did was hold up a sign, in support of a political event with political motivations, and it happened to be in front of a police station! If that’s a protest, then lock me up too!”, an activist protested to media cameras on the state of the authoritarian government locking up another activist for protesting on a separate occasion.

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