SINGAPORE 3 JULY 2020: The People’s Action Party (PAP) has today terminated rumours about their candidate Gan Siow Huang being unfeeling and like a robot, clarifying that she only needed a software update to resume feeling like a normal human being.

This comes after many online speculated that she was a robot after her mannerisms during her Nomination Day speech left some feeling less than sympathetic to her call for votes. PAP spokesperson Sarah Connor said: “She’s not an unfeeling robot, she just needed a quick software update to increase her warmness and likeability. We also added .3 tics more of humility so that our voters could relate to her more.”

Her stiff posture and tone gave off a vibe that led many to think that she was too wiry, and even led to a parody video, imagining what she would be like as a vice-principal in a school.

Gan Siow Huang also drew much adoration online for being the first female Singapore Armed Forces personnel to reach the rank of Brigadier General.

All the best to Ms Gan in the upcoming elections as she will be running against Ang Yong Guan from the Progress Singapore Party in Marymount SMC.

Pulau Tekong Island: WIKIPEDIA

24 MARCH SINGAPORE: All recruits going into their Basic Military Training phase in Pulau Tekong will be quarantined to the island for 2 weeks, an Army spokesperson told The Merlion Times.

“This is one of the robust measures the SAF has in place to ensure the safety of all soldiers,” said 3SG Ken Ah-Teck Anh.

In addition to putting the new soldiers in quarantine, they will also have to take their temperature before any strenuous activity. During drill-forming-up and parades, soldiers will also be taught the command ‘Dalam buka barisan ke kanan lu rus’ to practice social distancing.

As the recruits will already be rolling around on the dirt during their daily 5 Basic Exercises, they will be filthy enough to kill any germs and thus do not require any hand sanitiser.

This announcement has nothing to do with the ongoing Coronavirus spread, 3SG Anh clarified.

SINGAPORE 9 JAN 2020: In an effort to reduce divisiveness between Singaporeans and Permanent Residents (PR)s, the Singapore government will remove the labels from use.

Earlier this week Minister of Parliament  (MP) Sing and MP Singh clashed in Parliament over access to data on the number of jobs created for Singaporeans versus PRs.

“I don’t think we have anything to hide, we just shared the data.” MP Sing said while not addressing directly the question asked of if the government would release data breaking down by numbers of Singaporean and PRs.

When asked by a reporter why the minister would not address the question directly, a government spokesperson issued a reply.

“What is the point of asking such questions?” A government spokesperson said. “Answers are not the answer, and will only seek to divide a certain country’s population. It is definitely not because we have something to hide. What is the point of hiding something by not answering a question? I question the reporter’s intentions.”

We would have reached out to a ministry for more clarity and information, but what is the point?

SINGAPORE 14 JULY 2019: A Singaporean man in his 60s has taken to social media to lament about his issues with retirement. “My CPF balance only has so little. My calculated monthly payout is only $80. How can anyone survive on $80 a month?” Asked Singaporean man Meal Tin.

“We need to VOTE THEM OUT! $80 a month is INSULTING! Return our CPF.”

Tin also pointed out that CPF contribution rates are way too high.

“20%? I already earn so little, and now the government wants to take away 20% of my income? #VoteThemOut.”

Tin added that Singapore is also not caring enough for its citizens.

“Why does transport cost money? Restaurant food is like $50 a meal. How to survive? In other country everything is FREE.”

“And why do I need to pay S&CC fee? Government tax not enough? Must be minister millionaire salary. #VoteThemOut.”

Inspiring.

SINGAPORE 13 JULY: Are you a frequent rideshare user? Always wondered how to make drivers day a little better (apart from tipping)? Well wonder no more, with this article we share with you 4 best ways to make the trip you’re being driven enjoyable for the driver as well!

1. Check their glove compartments.

Drivers will sometimes forget important bits of information that they’ve kept in their glove compartments. For example, an insurance payment letter that they’ve quickly put away as the light turns green at a traffic light. Open their glove compartment and fish around for whatever might be inside. If you find something you like, keep it! Rideshare fares aren’t cheap anyway, and this goes a little way to help cover the cost for you.

2. Turn that radio dial.

Go ahead and turn their radio dial to a station you like. Nobody likes to listen to the same playlist all day, especially drivers as they’ve been listening to the same radio station cycle DJs and top hits every half an hour for essentially the same aural garbage. Justin Bieber for the 4th time this hour? No thanks! So go ahead, put on music you like at the volume you’d love because why not? Sharing is caring, and you’ve got caring enough for the whole neighbourhood.

3. Fix the aircon temperature.

When the driver has to be fixated on all the tiny details of driving, they’d be more than happy for you to set the aircon to your liking. As they navigate through the alleys of CBD and meander their course through the highway jam, they’ll need someone to fix the aircon that’s just not at the right skin-feel temperature. Following this tip, they may even give you a 5-star rider review!

4. Take a picture of them when they use their phone.

In most cases, rideshare drivers are too busy looking for more fares and driving to figuratively stop and smell the flowers along the way. Help them to create a memorable collage of their journey in life by taking a picture of them whenever they look down at their phones and meddle with it while driving. This way, you create dozens of happy memories for the drivers while they can concentrate on multitasking while driving.

There you have it! 4 amazing ways to liven up the day of your rideshare driver. Do you have any personal tips? Let us know in the comments!

Image credit: Pexels

SINGAPORE – 8 Mar 2019. Singapore government considers banning monotheistic religions that impose on other religious beliefs. Certain monotheistic religions contain beliefs that there is only one true religion. This goes against any of the other thousands of religions that exist that claim to be the true religion.

Allowing monotheistic religious ceremonies to be held in Singapore would be against “public order interest and affect our religious and social harmony” cautioned the Ministry of Home Affairs (MHA).

Over the last few days, there have been lots of concerns expressed, and if you look at certain monotheistic religions, they do have a history – very offensive towards those outside their own religions, and supportive of violence, including encouraging the undertaking of crusades and religious genocides.

With the recent hiking incident in Malaysia where 2 Singaporeans were stranded for days, here are 3 top tips to remember when hiking to avoid getting into unfortunate situations.

1. Don’t go hiking

Hiking may seem like a nice way to exercise while enjoying the outdoors, but is it worth the risk? Staying home will ensure you never step off the beaten path or make it hard for rescuers to find you. Keep this tip in mind the next time you decide to go for a walk in the jungle.

2. Bring a NSF/NSman officer along

Everybody knows that because someone went through an officer cadet course they are instantly above everyone else. With the incessant, unending whines from them, you’ll know every single detail about how tough it was when they took their jungle confidence course. As much as it is a pain being around them, you know that when you get lost you can rely on them to get you out of the jungle because they saw some bird die in Thailand and had to eat it.

3. Go to Jurong instead

Let’s face it; Jurong is basically Malaysia. With all of it’s foreign-ness and disconnection, Jurong might as well be Malaysia. With the insanity of putting 3 malls around 1 MRT station, there’s plenty to explore in the area.